There is something I really hate and that's our human faults.
I hate when you have something to say, but the words never come out right.
I hate when you have a mom who never calls or texts or facebooks you or ANYTHING.
I hate not feeling good enough.
I hate feeling alone.
I hate when you have friends, but you're not sure if they really care about your feelings.
I hate having so much to do but no motivation to do it.
I hate not having someone to talk to that will just listen.
There is also somthing I really love and that's God's love and grace.
I love how no matter how mixed up my words are God know's EXACTLY what i'm trying to say.
I love how even though my mom isn't always here, God sends other people in my life to fill in those places.
I love how with God, i am good enough.
I love how with God I will never be alone.
I love how God cares about how i feel.
I love how with God, through all the chaos and "to-do lists," i can find rest in Him.
I love how with God, when i feel like theres no one I can pour my feelings and thoughts out too, I can turn to God in prayer.
I love that God loves me and He's is all I really need.
That's really all I have to say.
Jessica
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Pterodactyl.
Today i walked down to the creek with a test to study for, my bible to read, and another book i need to read for a book report. I failed. I went down there and read a bit in my bible, a bit from the other book, and didn't even glance at my OT study guide. I spent alot of time thinking.
On my way down there, two other guys were making their way there as well. They skipped rocks and talked about some of the most random things ever. They started talking about dinosaurs and insisted i tell them my favorite one. I'd never had a "favorite" dinosaur, so i said what first popped in my head. Pterodactyl. I guess it's because they're like birds, i don't know.
After they continued on with their randomness, i started thinking about birds and why i like them so much. Yeah, they're pretty, and can fly, and sing, but is there anything else? I immediatly thought of the word hope. During the flood, Noah sent out a bird to see if the water had started to go down any, and after a few times of doing that, the bird brought back an olive leaf. Hope. The first time he sent out a bird, in hopes of something, there was nothing, but he had hope once more and sent one out again.
Sometimes, when we go through something we will have faith in God that what we hope for will happen if we just follow God's will, but were let down when things continue going bad or just a different direction than what we want. That doesn't mean that we should give up, nor that there's no hope. It means that God is in control of it all. Let Him have His way in your life and don't let things that go on in life that don't make sense take away your hope.
Another thing that the bird subject brought my mind to was the passage of scripture in Matthew that talks about worrying. It says "25Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" How true and amazing is that? It amazes me that I can go all day and probably worry about SOMETHING whether it's how i'll have the money to pay for my book by the end of this month, if this person is mad at me, what God wants me to do with my life, will i get married. STUPID STUFF! God loves us all SO much and hates to see us worry. Why would He do something to us that would make us worry? He doesn't! Just like the birds and the lilies, God takes care of us. He can see the entire picture rather than the one pixil we see. That one pixil might be ugly, but God has an amazing picture for us. We need to grasp that and let go of all the worrying we do, I do.
I feel like this was a bunch of rambling and it may or may not make much sense, but it's just a little bit of what was on my mind earlier (and something I think that has been bothering me lately.) I know that God has everything in his hands, i just need to always be mindful of that.
On my way down there, two other guys were making their way there as well. They skipped rocks and talked about some of the most random things ever. They started talking about dinosaurs and insisted i tell them my favorite one. I'd never had a "favorite" dinosaur, so i said what first popped in my head. Pterodactyl. I guess it's because they're like birds, i don't know.
After they continued on with their randomness, i started thinking about birds and why i like them so much. Yeah, they're pretty, and can fly, and sing, but is there anything else? I immediatly thought of the word hope. During the flood, Noah sent out a bird to see if the water had started to go down any, and after a few times of doing that, the bird brought back an olive leaf. Hope. The first time he sent out a bird, in hopes of something, there was nothing, but he had hope once more and sent one out again.
Sometimes, when we go through something we will have faith in God that what we hope for will happen if we just follow God's will, but were let down when things continue going bad or just a different direction than what we want. That doesn't mean that we should give up, nor that there's no hope. It means that God is in control of it all. Let Him have His way in your life and don't let things that go on in life that don't make sense take away your hope.
Another thing that the bird subject brought my mind to was the passage of scripture in Matthew that talks about worrying. It says "25Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" How true and amazing is that? It amazes me that I can go all day and probably worry about SOMETHING whether it's how i'll have the money to pay for my book by the end of this month, if this person is mad at me, what God wants me to do with my life, will i get married. STUPID STUFF! God loves us all SO much and hates to see us worry. Why would He do something to us that would make us worry? He doesn't! Just like the birds and the lilies, God takes care of us. He can see the entire picture rather than the one pixil we see. That one pixil might be ugly, but God has an amazing picture for us. We need to grasp that and let go of all the worrying we do, I do.
I feel like this was a bunch of rambling and it may or may not make much sense, but it's just a little bit of what was on my mind earlier (and something I think that has been bothering me lately.) I know that God has everything in his hands, i just need to always be mindful of that.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
So much for this being about photography :P
Ozark. I'm here. Somedays it's hard to believe it. I feel like its going to end soon, and i'm going to go back home and back to how everything use to be, But it's not. I love it here so much though. I've met some AMAZING people, my professors are the best, my roomate is hilarious, eveything seems so perfect. I do miss my family, and Boulevard, and my friends. I do miss the daycare and all my little children there. But God, i know, has something planned for me here. He's opening my heart and eyes to so many new things and has already opened doors.
I came here thinking of doing the 4 year Intercultral Studies Bachelor degree, but i feel that changing. I don't know what to or why, but i think God has something different than what i thought. Maybe i'm just a confused freshmen, but maybe it's God leading me somewhere else. I know i'm suppose to be here, but what for exactly, i'm unsure. I've given it to God through prayer, hoping He'll reveal His plan to me sometime soon.
Today, i went to Carterville Christian Church, and i was blown away by the people there. They were so welcoming it was unbelievable. I walked in to seeing everyone smiling and greeting us, but not an overbearing kind of way. I walked into the worship service and looked down at a little girl standing next to her dad and when we made eye contact she gave me the biggest smile and waved at me. It was such a warm feeling seeing this little girl, who was about 9 years old maybe, so happy to see someone she's never met.
I almost feel like God is showing me that childrens ministry is something that i should go for and from the last few weeks and ESPECIALLY today i can see it actually happening. For now i'm giving it to God and praying for more doors to be open and that His will for my life be shown to me. I'm so excited for this chapter in my life and for what God is doing! :)
-Jessica
I came here thinking of doing the 4 year Intercultral Studies Bachelor degree, but i feel that changing. I don't know what to or why, but i think God has something different than what i thought. Maybe i'm just a confused freshmen, but maybe it's God leading me somewhere else. I know i'm suppose to be here, but what for exactly, i'm unsure. I've given it to God through prayer, hoping He'll reveal His plan to me sometime soon.
Today, i went to Carterville Christian Church, and i was blown away by the people there. They were so welcoming it was unbelievable. I walked in to seeing everyone smiling and greeting us, but not an overbearing kind of way. I walked into the worship service and looked down at a little girl standing next to her dad and when we made eye contact she gave me the biggest smile and waved at me. It was such a warm feeling seeing this little girl, who was about 9 years old maybe, so happy to see someone she's never met.
I almost feel like God is showing me that childrens ministry is something that i should go for and from the last few weeks and ESPECIALLY today i can see it actually happening. For now i'm giving it to God and praying for more doors to be open and that His will for my life be shown to me. I'm so excited for this chapter in my life and for what God is doing! :)
-Jessica
Monday, August 9, 2010
Upload Fail.
Alrighty, so i've tried about three different times this past week to make a photo update aaaand it fails every time. It's starting to frustrate me very much! I planned on showing photos that highlight my summer this year. It was going to be very large because this summer has been AMAZING, but the photos failed to upload. I guess i'll try it again later.
I'll be at Ozark in 10 days from now, it's a wierd thought to me. I'm so excited for the experience, meeting new people, getting to know my roomate, and the classes i'll get to take! But, i'm nervous. I kinda don't feel mature enough yet, i feel like a baby still. I'm DEFFINITLY depending on God through all of this because without Him this would be impossible for me.
I've been packing up my room lately, more and more each day. It's the wierdest feeling having only myself packing to move and not my entire family. It's just me.
I'll be giving this girl a ride to college when we leave the 19th. She was a foreign exchange student from Brazil my sophmore year and she's now going to Ozark Christian as well. It was quite a random thing. I added her on facebook and sent you her a message asking if she remembered me and told her i was going to Ozark as well, and she sent back that she DID remember me and she asked if my family could give her a ride to college, so i asked my parents and they agreed! I didn't know her very well i highschool, but i'm excited to get to know her now.
In the meantime, from now until the 19th, i'll be making a visit on Tuesday to Joplin to check out my room to see how much room i have and what not then going to hang out at "The Falls" with my favorite girls, Courtney, Catie, Jenny, and Janna! Then this Wednesday, me and three of my friends are heading to Arlington, TX to hang out at SIXFLAGS for the day. I'm super excited!
Well, if you made it this far into my post that's pretty cool. I see that you really care. I guess? Ha. Well, i'm going to start updating alot more now about college and just random things that go on in my life.
Jessica
I'll be at Ozark in 10 days from now, it's a wierd thought to me. I'm so excited for the experience, meeting new people, getting to know my roomate, and the classes i'll get to take! But, i'm nervous. I kinda don't feel mature enough yet, i feel like a baby still. I'm DEFFINITLY depending on God through all of this because without Him this would be impossible for me.
I've been packing up my room lately, more and more each day. It's the wierdest feeling having only myself packing to move and not my entire family. It's just me.
I'll be giving this girl a ride to college when we leave the 19th. She was a foreign exchange student from Brazil my sophmore year and she's now going to Ozark Christian as well. It was quite a random thing. I added her on facebook and sent you her a message asking if she remembered me and told her i was going to Ozark as well, and she sent back that she DID remember me and she asked if my family could give her a ride to college, so i asked my parents and they agreed! I didn't know her very well i highschool, but i'm excited to get to know her now.
In the meantime, from now until the 19th, i'll be making a visit on Tuesday to Joplin to check out my room to see how much room i have and what not then going to hang out at "The Falls" with my favorite girls, Courtney, Catie, Jenny, and Janna! Then this Wednesday, me and three of my friends are heading to Arlington, TX to hang out at SIXFLAGS for the day. I'm super excited!
Well, if you made it this far into my post that's pretty cool. I see that you really care. I guess? Ha. Well, i'm going to start updating alot more now about college and just random things that go on in my life.
Jessica
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